11 things that gossent with lingerie

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The lingerie is more often worthy of embarrassment of evenings that end gloriously.

It is soon Valentine’s day and everyone seems to compete for originality and cuteness. A friend Facebook adopts a kitten. A map at the bookstore the Euguélionne mentions happily I love you more than bacon. However, a lot of women will buy lingerie color overdose of little hearts cinnamon, and many men will ask of the vendors of Victoria Secrets to try sexy outfits to be certain that their boyfriends will be as attractive as a double-cheeseburger in negligee pink Pepto Bismol.

Lingerie, in addition to not being original as an idea, is sometimes zero effective when we hope to spend a time that ends with the burial of a condom juicy in a handkerchief.

Here’s everything that’s annoying with the little below 50% polyester, 50% sand paper.

1. If they do not cost over a hundred dollars, they sting.

Have the impression of reliving a remake of the chicken pox caught in seven years is not worthy of a romantic evening a memorable one.

2. It is made to be removed.

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Why wear something that is destined to be lost under the bed?

3. It is impossible to put.


Some songs are really difficult to understand. A rope goes in the back or cover up a nipple or exists only to create the static. The whole to conclude with a ” not tonight I have a headache, eat pizza in bed. “

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4. It is impossible to remove.


Once the straps have been adjusted, the corset tied tight, pasties glued with glue that stinks on the nipples, nothing more is removed without to sweat as much as a marathon runner. Except g-strings, but the g-strings should be a relic of the reality tv show Flavor of Love.

5. It gives diseases.

Consciously make the choice to wear a thread of dental floss between the buttocks, not to win the worst challenge in the world or grab a vaginitis, is inexplicable.

6. It costs too much

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A fabric-synthetic silk, which encourages allergic reactions or a new vase Pantone color of the year, and a cushion with the face of a dog? A need to determine its priorities.

7. The creators of lingerie hate human beings


The lingerie is not available in all the sizes possible (except for a few brands, such as that of Rihanna, #blessedyouqueen #bodypositivity) and some designers do not hesitate to say that their collection should represent that of the fantasy, giving awkwardly this as a reason to exclude people fat and trans fat of their parade (#shameonyou Victoria Secrets.)

8. All the sets look like leftovers from Christmas

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The red of Valentine’s day makes you think too much of the costumes Mom on Christmas. Who wants to have the air of a Mom-Christmas period, ready to be unpacked in an orgy of disappointments?

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9. It brings back bad memories

Stories of a friend who wanted to be sexy and romantic, dressed in underwear that match and a raincoat, and found, in a taxi, with a waterproof faulty, it’s there.


Stockings-garter self-adhesive tapes which are not self-adhesive, and which give the impression of being more trashy than a Barbie in the slush of February, it also exists. And it does not rhyme with ” romance subtle. “

10. It is winter

If one receives it as a gift, is it necessary to try any of the following? Get naked, freezing, and showing off nearly naked, with the hair of the pubes that are coming out of the lace itchy, goosebumps and a smile of false gratitude?

11. It is beautiful that time of a photo, Instagram

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The lingerie is nice when it is standing mannequin, display case, or on her knees on a bed position cover page of GQ. This is never better if one wants to kind live. And eating pizza.